This post was edited May 6, 2017, to include the absurdity of the Unicorn Frappuccino and the newest addition to the spring menu.
Rather than annoying your local barista every morning, ordering an overcomplicated drink off of a “secret menu,” Starbucks dropped two new macchiatos you’ll want to try, and despite being the longest names in history of drinks, employees will actually know what you’re talking about. Starting tomorrow (Tuesday, February 28) these spring drinks will be available at Starbucks stores everywhere.
The first drink, a Coconutmilk Mocha Macchiato (quite the tongue twister) is what sounds like a gorgeous blend of flavors. The concoction consists of espresso, coconut milk, white chocolate mocha sauce, caramel, and mocha. Holy ingredients. This twist on the classic macchiato can be served either cold or hot, and will definitely serve its purpose of keeping you awake with all of the variants of sugar and the shots of espresso in it.
The second drink, is much simpler in ingredients (not in name, however) and should prove to be just as flavorful. Called the Iced Cinnamon Almondmilk Macchiato, its ingredients are just that. Espresso, almond milk, cinnamon dolce syrup, caramel, and ground cinnamon are the ingredients that make up this delicacy. You can think of it as the happy medium between a frothy Frappuccino and your health.
A couple weeks ago, Starbucks released the most absurd item to ever hit the menu. It’s an annoying customer’s wildest dream come true: a drink so complicated and ridiculous that actually won’t wreak havoc when ordering it. It’s called a Unicorn Frappuccino, and it is nothing short of wild. It’s both sweet and sour, made of mango and sour blue syrup, topped with whipped cream and “fairy dust.” It was an Instagram sensation for the limited time it was offered in Starbucks venues around the world. The company’s tagline for this Lisa Frank-approved drink was that you may order it “only if you believe” and I honestly just can’t believe this neon colored health hazard was loved by so many.
Also included in its new spring menu, and only here for a limited time as well, the Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino is essentially dessert disguised as coffee. The layered design looks like an Oreo more than anything, and the “cream” in the middle is a sheet of whipped cream to make things interesting. It’s a whole lot of mint and dark chocolate, and its nutritional information isn’t yet available online, so I’m going to guess it’s also a whole lot of calories and not a whole lot of caffeine.
So, forget about your grande in a venti cup, iced cappuccino with these many pumps of vanilla and that many scoops of matcha, et cetera, et cetera. These also complicated drinks will actually spice up your life with every syllable – quite literally, considering one’s main ingredient is cinnamon.